


This Means War

by Book_freak



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Everyone is fine, F/M, Fluff, Fun, Gen, Prank Wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-23 00:44:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15594474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Book_freak/pseuds/Book_freak
Summary: Daisy knows that messing with May means war, but sometimes she just can't resist.





	This Means War

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote a fic about a prank war waaaaay back when, but I wanted to try again now.

Melinda May knew that she could sometimes be difficult to read. If she wanted to, she could hide just about everything behind a stony expression and no one would be the wiser. Of all the things she had tried to teach Daisy over the years, that was a lesson that had never quite stuck. Or maybe Daisy just didn't care about that.

Daisy had _looks._ Not just her facial expressions, her posture and body language gave away everything. The slightest hunch of her shoulders to say that she was feeling lonely, the way she would shift her weight from foot to foot emphasised her nervousness. And the overly comfortable way in which she flopped down onto the couch beside May with a slight grin on her face and a sparkle in her eye told May that she was there to annoy her.

So she slowly turned her head to look at her, keeping that impassive mask up and raising an eyebrow.

Daisy snorted. “Wow, I haven't even _said_ anything.”

May rolled her eyes. “What?”

“I was just wondering...” Daisy said, clearly trying not to grin. “Since Coulson's back now, and you and him had that _thing,_ are you two gonna be like, _more_ of a thing?”

May shook her head. “We got him back last week and you're already back on that.”

Daisy grinned. “I think the real question is if _you're_ back on that.” She muttered, getting an elbow to the ribs.

“No.” May said flatly.

Daisy blinked, surprised. “No, you're not a thing?”

May glared. “No, I'm not talking about this.” She corrected.

Daisy laughed, and May had to admit that it was nice to see her like this, shining with happiness and mischief. She'd been so subdued since she had gotten back from space. Grieving like everyone else, but there was something more to Daisy's grief. Something deeper.

Daisy nudged her. “Come _on,_ he hasn't taken his eyes off you since we got him back, and I _saw_ you two on that spaceship.” She grinned. “I don't think I'm ever gonna forget _that._ ”

“Daisy.”

“May.” Daisy mocked.

May's eyes narrowed. “Another word and you'll regret it.”

“Ooh, I'm scared.” She teased. “What are you gonna do, make dinner?”

Melinda felt a smirk tug at her lips and realised how long it had been since she had felt this particular blend of mischief and determination. “You'll have to wait and see.” She said, pushing herself to her feet and walking away.

Daisy froze. “Wait, where are you going?! What are you gonna do?” She tried to stand but stumbled. “May! What are you gonna do?!”

* * *

Daisy was on edge for the rest of the day, but in a good way. A way that was more tinged with excitement than anything else. It had been a long time since May had felt compelled to get her back like this. When she thought about it, it felt even longer. Before space, before the Framework. Before Lincoln and everything else.

Maybe even before her powers.

It felt simple, dramatically checking around corners and through doorways before she walked through them, already planning her revenge for whatever May was going to do to her. All she had to do was assure anyone who gave her a strange look that they were all safe, and that she hadn't lost her mind.

She saw May once before the end of the day, when she was leaving the mess hall just as Daisy entered. On seeing her, May smiled and nodded, continuing casually on her way.

Daisy knew that the smile was meant to unnerve her. Hell, for all she knew May’s method of torturing her would be to make her _think_ she was up to something while doing nothing else.

That didn’t mean that the smug look didn’t get to her though.

So Daisy changed her door code, triple locked it, alarmed it, and put a motion sensor on the inside before going to bed that night. Maybe May could get past it, maybe not, but Daisy wasn’t going to make it easy for her one way or another.

Even with that enhanced security, Daisy’s paranoia kept her awake for a long time, waiting for May to try something. She’d proven long ago that she wasn’t over the old whipped cream on the hand trick.

Daisy wasn’t sure exactly when she eventually fell asleep. When she woke she felt warm from the blankets, and luxuriously well rested.

Then she opened her eyes and screamed, her powers bursting forth violently.

The terrifying puppet with the creepy smile which had been suspended right in front of her face was blown to pieces, and in the process, Daisy noticed the dozen or so more creepy puppets and dolls which had been placed all over her room, all of them with their eyes fixed on her.

Heart thudding in her chest, Daisy caught her breath and looked between all of the dolls, the corner of one eye twitching.

_This means war._

* * *

May was sitting smugly in the mess hall when Daisy entered, her eye still twitching a little. “Morning.” She greeted, far more smugly than usual.

Daisy glared, ignoring her and going for her cereal box, muttering under her breath.

“Sleep well?”

Daisy rounded on her with an intense stare that made May press her lips together to keep from laughing.

Yeah. This was fun.

She watched Daisy get her cereal ready and intentionally sit not far from her. May raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Calling each other out wasn’t part of this game. Instead she kept her eyes subtly trained on Daisy and took another sip of her tea.

May promptly gagged and spat it back into the cup, finding that it had somehow gone completely cold. She pulled a face and looked down at the cup. It was still the same tea. There was no way Daisy could have messed with it, she hadn’t even let it go.

Maybe she’d just lost track of time or something.

She put down the mug, resolving to make a fresh cup, when something wafted up past her eyes.

Steam.

May narrowed her eyes and glanced over at Daisy, who seemed completely distracted by her apricot wheats, then looked down at her tea. It was hot again. She touched the mug carefully to check, and somehow it seemed to be back at an ideal drinking temperature.

She looked back to Daisy, who immediately shoved her spoon in her mouth to hide her grin.

_So that’s how it is?_

Slowly, subtly, May turned in her seat so that she was facing away from Daisy, nursing her tea in her hands and not yet drinking any. She moved the mug up to her lips slowly, just to see what she would do, but found that there was no change.

Suspicious but impulsive, May made a quick attempt to gulp down her tea in one swig, before Daisy could do whatever she was doing.

May found herself immediately smacked in the face by a block of frozen tea.

Daisy snorted into her cereal, unable to keep it in any longer, and May glowered at the ice block on the ground which had once been her morning cup of tea, then pushed herself to her feet.

_This means war._

* * *

May swore to herself as she fiddled with the combination for Daisy’s locker. She could easily pick the lock or break the door, but she knew that both things would leave at least a little mark on the peeling paint, and given Daisy’s high levels of paranoia lately, she’d rather not risk it.

She couldn’t help but be partly proud of Daisy at how difficult she had made it to figure out the code to her locker. It wasn’t Daisy’s birthday, nor Coulson, Jemma, Fitz, Mack, or Elena’s. It wasn’t any phone number associated with any of them, nor even the alphanumeric code for SHIELD.

Just when she was about to give up and pick the lock, a thought occurred to May which made her shake her head at herself. Just to be sure, she typed in the numbers.

_112065_

_Click._

The locked door opened, and May laughed under her breath. Ten minutes. Ten minutes of codes and birthdays before she thought to try her own. She wasn’t sure whether Daisy had chosen that code a long time ago and not bothered to change it, or had changed it recently in a deliberate attempt to call May out at this very moment.

Either way, it sent a warm feeling through her chest as she dug around in search of her target. May’s smile widened when she found it, preparing her newest bout of revenge.

Daisy was not going to like this one bit.

* * *

This was a mission. Daisy reminded herself of that every minute or so. A mission. Missions were not the time for messing around and playing pranks.

So there was no way May was going to pull anything right now.

At least she didn’t seem like she was going to pull anything on her. May flew the quinjet as normally, her and Coulson talking softly in the cockpit.

Daisy would be willing to bet they weren’t talking about the mission, if the doe-eyed look Coulson was giving May was anything to go by.

Not that there was much mission to talk about anyway. They didn’t even all need to be there for a quick check of a long-abandoned building where Aida had once stored parts for her LMDs, but Daisy knew that they were all in highly protective mode right now. Between losing Fitz, losing Coulson, and getting them both back, the whole team was sticking together.

They pulled in to land without many words spoken, and Mack cleared his throat. “Okay, let’s move out.” He said, clearly getting used to leading. “You see a robot you kill it, understood?”

“Understood.” They chorused back.

Daisy knew that the odds were heavily against it, but she also knew how much Mack loved those old horror movies. Abandoned warehouse where the killer robots used to be made? Yeah, he knew what would happen in that movie.

Of course, in that movie the door probably wouldn’t be bolted shut. And partly rusted shut as well. Mack gave it a substantial shove, but the heavy door barely moved.

He glared at it and stepped aside, at which point Coulson politely said, “Daisy, if you’d be so kind.”

Daisy grinned. “On it.”

She threw out both hands towards the door, her powers surging forth and blowing it open with ease, and also with a large cloud of glitter.

Daisy stared at the sparkling powder in the air, not comprehending for a long moment, then looked down at her gauntlets, which were also now caked in glitter. She opened her mouth, closed it, then without thinking, buried her face in her hands as the others collectively dissolved into laughter.

Jemma gasped for air. “What- what was that?!” She giggled, fighting to stay upright.

Daisy whipped her hands away from her face when she realised that she was only spreading the glitter. “Shut up.” She muttered, fighting not to smile as she unsuccessfully tried to wipe the glitter away with her sleeve.

Coulson chuckled. “Something you forgot to tell us?” He teased. “Did you find some more crystals and get extra superpowers?”

Daisy pulled a face at him. “No.”

Elena clutched to Mack’s arm, her face red from laughing. Almost all the glitter had fluttered to the floor now. “W-will this happen to me?” She asked, “Inhuman puberty turns us all into fairies?”

“I don’t know Yoyo, it might, let me see your face.” Daisy made a grab for her which Elena dodged, still giggling.

Mack chuckled. “Can we get on with the mission?”

“Ten-four!” Daisy exclaimed, patting him on the back. “Let’s do this!”

As expected the place was entirely abandoned. As they broke off to search for any traces of the LMD’s or their development, Daisy shot May a poisonous glare.

She smiled in that suppressed way of hers and followed Fitz upstairs, leaving Daisy to scowl at the dusty computer built into the wall. She knew that none of the others would really suspect that it was May. The look Mack gave Elena said that he thought she’d done it, and Daisy had seen Jemma not subtly elbow Fitz in the ribs.

Glitter covered the keyboard as she typed, trying to bring the device back online, and since there was no one nearby, Daisy let herself grin. As embarrassing as it was to shoot glitter from her hands in front of her whole team… she had to admit that that was a good one.

“How’s it going?”

Daisy jumped at the voice. Coulson. “Just about got it working.” She said, pressing a quick sequence of keys and causing the screen to light up.

“Wow.” He cocked his head at the screen. “That was fast even for you.”

Daisy snorted. “I guess it’s my new magic powers.” She wiggled her fingers, more glitter sparkling in the air.

Phil chuckled. “Do I want to know what’s going on with you two?”

Daisy’s hands paused in her typing and she grinned sheepishly. Of course Coulson would know. “It’s nothing.” She mumbled, “Just a bit of fun.”

When she looked at him, his eyes were warm. “I’m glad. It’s been a long time since any of us had that.”

Daisy turned back to the computer. “Yeah.” She murmured. “But I’m totally getting her back for this.”

Phil laughed and held his hands up. “As long as I don’t get caught in the crossfire you can go crazy.”

“Aw, I’d never wanna get _you._ ” Daisy said, completing the file transfer over to the hard drive she had brought with her and pushing herself to her feet. “I missed you too much to torture you like that.” And before he could say anything or stop her, Daisy had pounced on him in a tight hug.

Coulson laughed and batted at her glittery limbs wrapped around him. “Daisy! Hey, I like this suit!”

Daisy hummed, smearing as much glitter as she could onto him. “Me too, it’s so soft.”

Phil smiled and shoved her gently. “Let go.”

“Or what?” Daisy asked cockily, immediately shrieking when he dug his fingers into her ribs, almost falling over backwards in her hurry to escape the attack. “Jackass.” She muttered, a hint of laughter in her voice.

“Smartass.” He shot back, brushing glitter from his blazer.

Daisy giggled. “Come on, let’s find the others.” She had the whole flight back to figure out her revenge. Yeah. It was going to be _perfect._

* * *

“This isn’t funny. May. Get me down from here. _May.”_

Melinda could hardly hear Daisy’s voice over her own laughter, let alone take the time to comprehend what she was saying. “How did you even…” She gasped, clutching the doorframe to stay upright.

Daisy tried to free herself from the snare, swinging back and forth to no avail. “None of your business, just get me _down.”_ She grumbled, tempted to knock May back with her powers out of annoyance.

Still. She wasn’t sure she’d ever seen May laugh this hard, and even hanging upside down by one leg in the gym, that felt like something special.

“Wait, wait…” May grinned, fishing her phone from her pocket. “SHIELD recruitment pamphlet needs a cover picture.”

Daisy grabbed wildly for her as she snapped a few pictures, always falling a little short.

“Oh, I should get this turned into one of those ‘hang in there’ posters.” May mused, shaking with silent laughter, stepping further away to get a fuller shot.

Daisy tried to hit the trap with her powers, but May could see that it would take a while to make any progress that way. “You know, I think Fitz would really appreciate the work you put into this, I should go get him, so he can see.”

She waited for Daisy to swear at her, and when that didn’t happen, started to mockingly walk towards the door. She had one foot out of the gym when a voice stopped her.

“May?”

May wasn’t sure how that one word spoken in such a scared whisper could send such a shock through her system, banishing all humour from her mind in a moment. “Daisy? Hey, it’s okay, just stay calm.”

Seeing Daisy’s shoulders move so rapidly with her breathing only worried her further, and May quickly moved to disable the trap. “On three, okay? One, two, three.” The pulley lifted May slightly off the ground in response to Daisy’s weight, but in seconds the two of them were on the gym floor.

Daisy didn’t stand up, instead choosing to clutch her head and force her breathing to slow.

May crawled closer to her. “You good?”

She nodded and gave a dry cough. “I think I was just hanging upside down for too long. My head’s… not good.”

“Want me to untie this?” May asked, tugging at the rope still around Daisy’s ankle.

Daisy nodded again, crossing her arms around her waist. She didn’t look up or say anything as May loosened the trap from her leg.

May threw it aside, causing Daisy to finally look up at her and see the concern in her eyes. She sighed quietly. “I’m sorry.” She mumbled. “I didn’t mean to get so dramatic and ruin everything.”

May nudged her gently. “You didn’t ruin anything. And even if you did, you’re way more important than some dumb game.”

“It’s not dumb.” Daisy muttered, her lips twitching into the ghost of a grin, “I like it.”

“Me too.” May said with an indulgent smile. “But we’re pressing pause on this until you feel better.”

“I’m fine though! Give me half an hour and I’ll be back on my game.”

May shrugged. “Then game on in half an hour.” She cocked her head at the snare. “That’s really well put together by the way.”

Daisy snorted. “Yeah, I’d be super proud if I hadn’t walked right into it.” She reached for May’s phone and grinned at the pictures. “Okay, that’s great. I kind of want one.”

“I’ll send you a copy of the ‘hang in there’ poster.” May said, snagging her phone from Daisy’s hands before she decided to delete the pictures.

“Great.” Daisy flopped back onto the gym mats, looking up at the ceiling. “Hey, how the hell did you get into my room?”

May let her hands rest behind her on the floor, lazily holding herself up. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Well yeah, that’s why I asked.”

“What did you do to my tea?” May asked, changing the subject.

Daisy smiled. “Just used my powers. Hot stuff is faster than cold stuff, if I just slow down the vibrations…”

“Huh.”

“Yeah.”

“Handy.”

“And I haven’t even tried it with carbonated drinks yet.”

May fixed her with a playful glare. “If my beer blows up in my hands I’ll know who to blame.”

“You trying to give me ideas?”

“Only if you’re lazy enough that you think shaking up my beer is a good prank.”

“Guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

* * *

May did wait to see. She kept an eye on Daisy for the rest of the day, watching out for any of her usual tells. She knew that Daisy had said her momentary freak out was because of the blood flow to her head, and May believed her. Mostly.

She believed that hanging upside down for that long had made her reactions worse, but May also knew that Daisy didn’t respond well to being that helpless. That tied with her bad habit of ignoring her own traumas didn’t mix well.

Thankfully, Daisy seemed to really be okay. There was none of her tell-tale jumpiness or quieter tone of voice, her body language hadn’t changed, and she still made fun of Mack when he walked into the common room covered in baby powder.

Huh. So maybe that snare wasn’t the only trap Daisy had set.

May remained on her guard, just in case. She knew that she was just waiting for Daisy to decide she was okay and start their little game back up, so at almost every turn May was prepared for Daisy to jump out at her or drop a water balloon on her head or whatever other crazy trick she could come up with. She still wasn’t sure if she was looking forward to it or not.

Oh, who was she kidding? She was definitely looking forward to it.

Still, no traps were sprung. No water balloons were dropped, no one jumped out in an attempt to scare her. Daisy didn’t even seem to be hiding anything. Maybe she did need more time.

May was musing on that as she walked from the showers to her room, secretly her and Phil’s room. She wasn’t really sure why they hadn’t told the others yet. If she was honest, she didn’t know how to share that kind of news in the first place.

She was so caught up in that thought that she almost walked right into Phil, raising an eyebrow when she saw how flushed he was. “What?”

Phil rubbed the back of his neck. “I-Melinda, look, i-if you- you can just, uh, tell me, if you want to- I mean… if there’s something you- you want to… _try._ ”

She cocked her head and Phil blushed more heavily, stepping aside to reveal what had been left on their bed.

A pair of handcuffs, and a can of whipped cream.

May stared at the two items for a long moment, then abruptly covered her mouth with one hand, dissolving into a quiet fit of laughter.

Phil frowned at her. Of all the responses he had expected, this wasn’t one of them. He could understand Melinda being playful or domineering or even a little embarrassed, but… laughter? Was this really some joke she was playing on him? Not that this wasn’t her sense of humour, but still…

Oh.

Oh _God._

Coulson wasn’t sure his face could feel any hotter than it had when he saw those things on their bed, but the knowledge of who had put them there catapulted him past that awkwardness and straight into mortification. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again, not even sure what he should say, if anything.

“I-... So much for not getting caught in the crossfire.” He grumbled, crossing his arms as May’s laughter faded.

Her grin remained though, and she seized the can from their bed with a wicked smirk. “I know _exactly_ what to do with this.”

* * *

Daisy had barely begun her morning workout the next day when she heard the telltale footsteps of her former S.O. She grinned for a moment before schooling her expression. For all she knew May had come to get her revenge, though at least the fact that Daisy could hear her coming meant that it might not be right this second.

She stopped hitting the punching bag and was about to turn and greet May when she called, “Hey, think fast.”

Daisy span around, throwing up her hands and catching the thing that had been thrown at her. She blinked at May for a moment in surprise, not paying attention to the thing she had caught. Instead she noticed the smattering of light bruises across her neck and the self-satisfied smirk on her face.

May threw her a wink. “Thanks.” She said, far more cheerfully than Daisy was used to, and turned to leave.

It was only then that Daisy looked at what was in her hand.

A whipped cream can.

An _empty_ whipped cream can.

Her eyes widened in horror, and Daisy dropped the can as if it was red hot, dancing away from it and frantically wiping her hands on her shirt. “ _Ohmygod_ gross, ew ew ew ew _ewww!”_ She squealed, shaking her head repeatedly as if to banish the images May had put there.

Beyond her disgust and her growing thoughts of blowing up the can with her powers to keep from needing to touch it or look at it ever again, Daisy could hear May’s laughter fading down the hall, and despite her horror, she could appreciate that.

* * *

Phil Coulson was annoyed. He was sticky, covered in feathers, and quite irate. “I just wanted to stay out of this, you know.” He growled, trying to wipe the honey from his hair. “I’m a simple guy, I don’t ask much.”

Neither of them even had the good grace to look guilty. Daisy’s eyes were wide and her lips were pressed tightly together, clearly doing everything in her power not to burst out laughing. Melinda wasn’t making any effort to hide her amusement, grinning widely with a sparkle in her eyes.

Phil glared at them, “This is _not_ funny.” He said, even as he could feel a smile tugging at his lips.

A clump of feathers and honey oozed down his forehead, hitting his nose. Phil said nothing, only glowering at them.

Daisy broke first, snorting and covering her mouth with one hand as the laughter overtook her. “I-I’m sorry.” She giggled, her other hand grasping May’s shoulder as she struggled to stay upright.

May caught Daisy by the upper arm, shaking her head and starting to laugh quietly too. She had always thought that Daisy had an infectious laugh, and seeing her with tears shining in her eyes and her cheeks flushed with mirth was impossible to resist.

Phil couldn’t help but smile at the sight before him. Two of the people he loved most in the world, happy and laughing and… shining. He wanted to hold onto this moment forever.

Actually…

While the two of them weren’t paying attention, Phil slowly moved closer and closer, until he was close enough to wrap them both in a hug, smearing them with honey and feathers as he did so.

Daisy yelped and laughed, shoving at him. “Hey- Coulson no fair! Lemme go!”

Phil laughed too, “I thought you liked hugs!” He exclaimed. He could feel Melinda laughing against him, making no effort to push him away despite their sticky situation.

Phil grinned and pressed a gooey kiss to her lips. She returned the kiss, but pushed his head away when he moved to kiss her cheek. “You get that crap in my hair and you’ll pay.”

Daisy snorted. “Can you guys not do that when I’m like, _right_ here?”

May smirked wickedly and, maintaining eye contact with her, licked a line of honey from Coulson’s neck. Daisy immediately voiced her disgust, shoving at the both of them.

“Melinda!” Phil cried in a scandalised voice, trying not to laugh.

Daisy finally managed to break free. There was a particular warmth in her eyes as she looked at them, messy and smiling and together. “I- I’m seriously really happy for you.” She muttered awkwardly.

May opened her mouth to speak but found herself hesitating. As strange as it was, this was the most uncomfortable she’d felt through all of this. “Thank you.” She mumbled, pulling away from Coulson. She cleared her throat. “Is this your way of calling for a truce?”

Daisy grinned. “Well, I know what I wanted to know, why bother beating a dead horse?”

Just as May’s eyes started to narrow, Phil put a hand on her shoulder. “How about _I_ call for a truce?” He asked with a laugh. “Before someone gets injured.”

Daisy snorted. “Mother hen.”

May poked him. “Killjoy.”

Coulson looked between them, rolling his eyes at their matching smirks, and only one thought came into his head.

This. This was worth dying for.


End file.
